In today's Jesus Calling devotional, Jesus asks us to continue on this path with Him, enjoying His Presence even in adversity. He has been with us since our beginning, is with us every single moment of our lives. He knows every struggle and every success we have ever had and will have. He knows our future and He can prepare us for it.
He is with me, but am I with Him?
He is doing His part, but am I doing my part?
I need to ask His assistance, but know that it comes in His terms. I have to trust Him enough to understand that I won't always understand. I do not know my future, He does. I need to ask for His guidance, and then I must listen and obey.
How many times have my thoughts been His word and I have shut them out because I know where it's going and I don't want to. So before He can finish I turn my thoughts elsewhere. Have you ever done that? I talk to Him throughout my day, thanking Him constantly, but I should be talking with Him not just to Him and paying more attention to what He is saying to me.
He uses people in our lives to interact with us, speaking to us through them. Like Linda asking me in the past to join her in her bible study group. Each time I declined her (His) offer. Now let me back up to a few years ago when Jesus decided that I should read the bible for lent (now that time I listened and said yes). Not just during lent but to continue until I had read it from front to back. Then I started it again reading slower and understanding a little bit more. That's when Linda again asked if I wanted to join and this time I said yes. I was ready for more... (again I listened and said yes). She then gave me the "Jesus Calling" devotional book. Daily devotions that helped me through a tough year. Jesus knew I would need it.
Jesus knew my future, He knew I needed to grow in my faith and grow stronger. I remember a conversation with Sylvia about God not giving you more than you can handle. I said to her... then I don't want to be too strong so He won't give me too heavy a cross. I said it half joking, half not. But He knew my future. He knew it was time to make me stronger. Darn.
So as I continue my path with Him, I am enjoying His Presence even in adversity.
This adversity being cancer. cancer in my daughter. after a year cancer returning in her lungs.
I think I handled it better the first year. I am struggling more this time around. I don't understand why she has to suffer more. I just don't get it. Worry has settled in my heart and as hard as I fight it, it keeps creeping in. I know some worry is normal especially for a mom, you can't avoid it but then you have to let it go. I'm working on it. I don't want to stay in worryland. I want to do as Michelle does... get up, shake it off and move on.
And I remind myself I have to trust God. Only He knows Michelle's future. He knows how to help her, when to heal her. She is strong and faithful. She listens to Him. Through her, God helps me be strong. Through her, God is teaching me. I learn so much from the conversations her and I have. I truly believe Jesus is right smack in the middle of our conversations, speaking to us both. If you know Michelle, you know her strength and I hope you also learn from her example, use it in your life, and grow closer to our Lord Jesus Christ.
"Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord, your God, is with you wherever you go". Joshua 1:9
"For it will not be you who speak but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you". Matthew 10:20
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